How difficult can it be to buy a house?

We live in a rented house which we did with a view to purchasing it. After living here for while we've come to the realisation that, as nice as the house is and we have loved living here, we would not be able to afford it AND make good all the neceassry repairs. So, we set things in motion to purchase somewhere else.

Being as we're not as young as we once were, financing a deal would be quite hard for a shorter term mortgage. We employed a financial adviser to assist us and back in April he had secured for us a deal in principle. Now the fun starts!

The house we found and wish to buy has been without occupants since November 2010 although it is fully furnished. The owners have fallen on hard times and need the money so you'd think there would be some urgency in selling it (not a repossession, but I feel it was getting close).

I guess with no chain in either direction and a need for money this is about as simple as it gets.

We put an offer on the property, and after a bit of the usual haggling, the offer was accepted.

A couple of weeks pass by as we find a solicitor etc. With that in place we formally apply for mortgage. That, out of necessity, incurs a survey. Nothing wrong with that as it assures us the property is sound anyway. With all that happening it brings us to our holiday in May. Good, we thought, when we come back from holiday things will be in place and we can get our lovely home. How wrong can you be? The surveyor, acting on behalf of the Building Society decided that £4000 should be retained pending certain repairs to be undertaken.

Given that the property is over 110 years old I didn't expect it to go without a comment or two. The Surveyor required an Electrical report and a Roof report to be undertaken. I can understand that he wasn't a qualified electrician and the roof is, well, just old! But in his survey it wasn't those items that was causing the retention... No, that was down to "sub-floor ventilation needs improving". Ho-hum. As the roof needed a report prepared I contacted a friend of mine who runs a Construction Company. I asked him to produce an unbiased report of both the roof and the sub-floor ventillation and also an estimate to make good any problems. His report stated that the only way the ventilation could be improved was the addition of one extra air brick - he issued a value in his estimate - the princely sum of £30. We sent the reports (more of the Electrical Report to follow) back to the Building Society and the retention was removed. So, first failure of The Professionals!

The electrical report. It is not a concept too far removed from any person with some knowledge house wiring that it's a good thing to have a supply of electrictiy with which to test (I know there are ways round this but at least the safety trips can only be tested with a genuine supply). First obstacle. Because of the financial situation of the Vendor the Electrical supply was ony available via a Key Token which has to be kept "topped-up" with funds. This way any bad debt can be recovered and no further debt incurred. Who has this key? Enquiries made to the Estate Agent revealed that it was with the Vendor. Arrangements were made to have the key delivered and topped up with adequate funds on it to recover the outstanding debts! This took 5 weeks! No typo - FIVE WHOLE WEEKS! Anyway, the tests were completed and the results forwarded to the Building Society as peviously mentioned.

This brings us into other areas of this much protracted adventure. Building Societies need referrences from all sorts of 'official' bodies, especially with regard to Finance! So, I wasn't surprised to see that they would enquire of my Employment status. What I wasn't prepared for was the number of times they did this ... that is; the enquiry. My company saw fit every time they replied not to include the requested reference number. Actually, when they did get it right my employer failed to include an all important part of my income! This fiasco continued right up to 8 days before the exchange of contracts! Second failure of The Professionals!

Whilst on the subject of references I'll just include the (still ongoing) medical report for Life Insurance cover. As you can imagine getting further away from youth makes health riskier. So, quite simply, the greater the risk the more you pay. However, as all companies are after your business, it pays to shop around. This was done by our Advisor and set up getting quotes from two companies. We take the cheapest. Well, that started at the same time we applied for the mortgage. Requests were made of doctor and the report is then returned. It's worth noting here the Doctor gets paid for furnishing these reports. We had one quote within 2 weeks of applying the other, well, the Doctor has been reminded twice after phoning at least five times (I'm also aware they receive a reminder letter weekly from the Insurance company as I receive a copy) and as of the time of writing has STILL not returned the report to one company. Let's face it - it can ONLY be the same. We are no different to the same doctor if you get my reasoning. The Doctor has already written it for goodness sake! Third Professional failure!

Whilst all this has been taken place - more to the point - has NOT been taking place the Building Society have closed the case. No enquiry as to what was happening or anything like that - just closed it. Our advisor was absolutely furious! Fortunately, we persuaded them to create a new case but with no charges. I should add - in that time their interest rate had increased by 0.2% Thanks! Fourth Professional failure!

How are the innocents doing in all this? We're just plodding along being pleasant to everyone and putting it down to experience. Anyway, we're not the type of people to create too much of a fuss. Errors happen and as long as we ALL learn from the mistakes all is well and good.

Now we come to the Estate Agent. I know the property market is severely depressed but being that desperate to complete a sale should not result in unethical practices. I REALLY fell out with the Vendor's agent when he kept saying that he was doing all he could to conclude the transaction. It came to a head when he was pressuring our advisor to get things going! I blew my top. The office would constantly cover for him saying he wasn't there or was busy on calls. Any dialogue that took place was between him and Marianne. Bless her. She just asked why he wasn't talking to me about the issues! I could go on about him but the worst instance was his constant refusal to listen. I asked him at one point to let me know when it was my turn to talk! Arrogant little (insert own expletives as appropriate). Fifth failure of The Professionals!

This brings us to the beginning of August and we receive an urgent email on a Saturday evening (yes - I know, I did write Saturday) informing us the Vendor would like to exchange contracts next Friday (12th August) with a completion date of 19th August. Apparently he loses an option to exchange contracts the same day if this doesn't happen. This is the first time we've heard anything from the Vendor and came as a complete surprise that he even had a desire to buy somewhere else. The request made to us was, can we do it? ... Well, yes we can, we've been trying to do it for ages! Exchange of contracts was right down to the wire last week - the reason being the vendor couldn't be found. He's been around when ever we tried to get other things done, usually responding to his Agent within an hour. I'd started enquires at lunchtime but at 16:50 no response from him... even his solicitor couldn't find him. At 17:10 exchange of contracts took place. (Interestingly the Vendor's solicitor described either the Vendor or his Agent as "a most obnoxious person"). Not just my thoughts then! Anyway, excellent news - things are finally happening.

So we await the day of completion. Now, with all this behind us you'd think that there was very little left to go wrong ... read on!

Before you do - let me notify you of one tiny part of the contract - the property to be cleared of all rubbish on the day of completion, that includes a broken down, off the road, Defender 110 Landrover! Becasue of this we drove over to the property on Wednesday evening to see if any progress had been made. Wow! The Landrover had gone, there was a skip (dumpster) full of rubbish and the Vendor was there with a private hire van! This is going to happen.

These were taken at 10'ish the day after "completion" - so I suppose this is in breach of contract. Who knows anymore?





Thursday evening was a sleepless night. Don't know whether it was apprehension or excitement. Either way I didn't get much sleep, nor did Marianne. I decided to take the afternoon off so we could collect the keys together and go to our new home.

With all the buzz that was going on I enquired of my solicitor as to what was happening. Is everyting ok? She had just contacted the building society and the money been released at 11:00 and should be in account within the hour. Good - nearly ours then!

THIS NEXT BIT IS THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE PART

We had exercised extreme patience (I guess you have too if you've read this far) and didn't bother a soul until 15:30... then our patience (probably mine) wore thin so I called our solicitor....

READY FOR THIS?

"Your money has been transferred to the worng account. We can't find it anywhere nor can the banks involved - I'm afraid we will not be able to complete today - maybe Monday or Tuesday".... speechless.

I wish I'd have asked where shall we live now? But we still have 4 weeks rent left owing to us so I felt confident about a roof over our heads so the degree of emergency was dissipated. Not ony that - I truly was SPEECHLESS!

The Professionals' failure number six!

Up to this point I have to say our solicitor had been brilliant and I take my hat off to her; she took the blame for this failure when in fact it was the secretary that incorrectly entered the account number. Still - it SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED. Marianne and I should be playing houses not feeling wretched as we do right now.

Every step of the way through this sorry mess we have been compliant and (I think) very pleasant people but we're now at our wits end. It would seem "The Professionals" are just bumbling, incompetent idiots. No wonder the UK is going to the dogs. Just need something to give us a bit of confidence in human nature again.

Thank you for getting this far - but I needed to vent!

How scarey is your Scarecrow?

This morning, after a lazy start, I received a call from our neighbour. Peter, a retired ranking officer, asked if I'd like to see his scarecrow. Now, he lives with his wife and their dog, Otto, in a small cottage opposite us. I was puzzled as to where this scarecrow could reside but I'd forgotten, as Marianne pointed out to me, that he told us he had an allotment. Now my interest was aroused. I told Peter that I would be about 10 minutes as I'd just got out of the shower - I told you I was having a lazy day.

Marianne said I'd be gone ages if the stories were true about his "allotment parties". I said I'm sure I won't be long as it was chilly still and his shed bar won't be open. Anyway, Peter was driving! I listened to Peter tell me about his very poorly mother who was living out her last days in a home in Cheltenham and whom he visits around 3 times a week. His car is only six months old and his covered 20,ooo miles! Actually, we are reliably informed it's Otto's car. He gets a drive before he has his walks! (Not that Otto drives, I must add)

A few minutes sees us turn the corner to the allotments and we drive up to Peter's patch..... can you see it Barry? Actually, I couldn't and it wasn't for the lack of looking. We got out of the car and there, before my eyes, was Corporal Jones and Private Pike (of Dad's Army fame) sat astride a rather well made replica of a Bofors anti-aircraft gun! I'm not kidding..... I laughed and laughed. Peter asked if I was impressed. I mean, what can you say? It was a magnificent thing and if it were radar controlled would take out any amount of pigeons and crows.

It's just struck me whilst writing this that it can't be that much of a bird deterrent (unless it goes bang) as I couldn't spot it with my naked eye because of the camouflage, battle dress. Peter says he is getting some camouflage netting to go around the base. Hmmmm.

Now, the other, rather colourful device, is Superduck! It's the last line of defence in the Battle of the Birds. We'll wait and see.

Licensed to Thrill

The end of an era. Last Friday saw my last Concert with the HuMSA Swing Band. quite sad in a way but if you read my previous blog post you'd understand why it had to happen. Strangely enough it was my first solo with them in front of a paying audience - just to add to the pressure it was my first concert solo for 40 years in front of a paying audience



My Darling Wife took some pictures of me outside our house - I had this James Bond air about me that needed capturing.

My solo was played on a Flugel Horn which I enjoy playing. It has a rich, deep mellow tone almost dark and mysterious. Needs the right music for it though. Play it too high and badly it'll sound like a strangled cow!

The concert was a resounding success apparently. It was a Cabaret which was another first for me. Can't say it was totally enjoyable for me as everybody was eating, drinking and chattering. Seemed strange to be providing live background music! And boy! Was it hot...... got quite drippy.

Anyway, I made a recording of the concert but, unfortunately, the recorder had to be at the rear of the hall which meant it picked up all the chatterings as well.

If you're interested my solo can be found here - Can't Get Started.

Changing Direction

Busy week and a few decisions to be made. Should I sell some unused camera equipment and fund a better cornet? The results of which are shown here. Silver plated and hand made in Britain! Not much of that these days....

So, what's been happening to result in this?

Do you recall my return to my trumpet playing? That caused me to join the local music school in Huntingdon. HuMSA for short. That has been brilliant for me to rekindle and redevelop my abilities. The confidence I need to play in public has been a different story though. A year into it and few concerts later I still didn't have the confidence I had when I was a pimply youth!

The downside to the music school was having to spend so much of my weekend away from my darling wife. They wanted me to help more and more which ate into more of our precious weekend together. I needed a better means of utilising my time and allow me to continue to enjoy my playing. One of the ensembles I played with at the school was the "Brass Ensemble" - virtually a brass band but not enough players. Boy, do I enjoy that - it has become the highlight of my Saturdays at the school.

After some research I found that the local(ish) Brass Band in Somersham have rehearsals on Thursday evenings. I spoke to Marianne about this and she said it was better for me to be away in the evening as opposed to losing most of Saturday together. I spoke to Somersham Town Band and they were very happy to have me join them. I told them it couldn't happen this term as I was committed to the concerts booked with the Music School. But after the summer term I shall go to Somersham on a more permanent basis.

I went to a rehearsal with them to see if "I fit in" and it appears I do. They called to ask if I could 'dep' in a concert in Cambridge last Saturday. It was a joint concert with the Cambridge University Brass Band. What an event.

Here are a couple of links to some pieces I managed to record. I was too shy to set the device in a more practical position so, unfortunately, there is an unbalanced drum section but I don't think it detracts too much from what was a pleasant sound.

Pastorale - Goff Richards Somersham Town Band

Musket, Fife and Drum - this is the music to the UK TV series "Soldier, Soldier" played in conjunction with Cambridge University BB.

The wierd thing is I didn't seem to suffer the nerves I do when I play with the school - must be the uniform!

Ooh - that reminds me, I've not told you about my old school teacher have I? Next time....

The Card Trick

Sincere Apologies for the tardy attitude toward my blog.... I'll do my best to change!

So much (really) has happened I don't know where to start so, a good thing to do would be to recount the happenings of this day.

It started when I got up out of bed.... should be a painless experience in itself but, well let's just say - it hurt, big time. Mainly because I was trying to 'slide' out carefully, only I didn't realise I was quite as close to edge of the bed as I was so, gravity took over earlier than anticipated. That caused me to scrape my left, outer thigh on the metal bed frame. Now, to save you the agony of doing this to see just how painful this can be, just take my word for it - it is excrutiatingly painful and debilitating. Don't, repeat don't do it!

If that wasn't enough imagine, if you will, the verbalising that is attendant with a situation such as I've described.

Marianne: "What have you done? What's happened?"

If I could've talked and responded sensibly instead of shouting stuff at the top of my voice I might have received the solace that was due me. Rather, I just became the recipient of yet more questions in Marianne's vain attempt to ascertain my condition. That condition was dire..... hobbling around the bedroom with a dead-leg (Charlie Horse I believe it is over the pond) was the only way I could transport myself.

Marianne: "That's a relief, I thought you had broken your leg!"

Visual and tactile investigation (I liked that bit) revelaed a lump the size of the bowl of a teaspoon which was surplanted atop another longish lump (3 inches x 1 inch). I've yet to check the colour of it but can only imagine Technicolor would like it for a test chart!

Moving on...... Shower? uneventful. Breakfast? uneventful. So, we discuss what we should do today. Marianne said there is a load of 'decluttering' to take place. I agree. Two lives of our ages coming together brings with it all matter of things - so much of it lost in the mists of time and is useless to us now..... to be rid of it will be a good thing.

I returned from band practice after dumping the first of the rubbish. It's at this point I think it would be a good idea for us to enjoy a meal together in a country pub.

On our travels to the place I was intending to go, Marianne suggested a little restaurant, The Windmill, just outside of Somersham. Thoroughly enjoyable meal and we shall return - if they will have us!

Just after I requested the bill I told Marianne I needed the little boys' room and gave her my bank card, just in case the waitress returned whilst I was otherwise engaged. I returned and she gave back my card. The bill (check - US) duly arrived, courtesy of the waitress along with some lovely mints. We were sat at a window table and the sun started to shine so we carried on chatting a bit (about 10 minutes).

Marianne: "Are you going to pay so we get home and finish what we were doing?"
"Ok, did you give me my card back? I can't find it"
"Yes, I did. You had it in your hand".
"I thought you had. Trouble is I can't find it anywhere".

I stood up, went through my wallet. Then I went through all my pockets. Then I searched the floor. Followed by looking down the crease/edge at the back of the chair. Marianne looked in her handbag. For good measure, I stood up and performed the same procedure as before in the hope I'd missed a pocket. No - nothing, zilch, nada! All my other cards, a few receipts and a book of postage stamps, but no bank card.

Marianne: "This is ridiculous, I gave it back to you, I'm sure I did".
"I know you did honey. I'm remember fiddling with it whilst we were nattering. Where is it now though?"
"Stand up again and go through your pockets and things."
"I'm not getting up again. People will think I've got St. Vitus dance."
"Stand up and let me search you."

So, there I was, stood in the restaurant being body searched (I liked that bit) in an attempt to locate the itinerant bank card. No. Still not anywhere to be seen.

You can imagine at this time we were becoming something of a spectacle. The staff asked us if there was a problem.

Me: "Don't worry, I can pay but I've lost my card. Any chance it got taken away when you cleared the table?"

The short answer to that was the staff hadn't seen it either. So, I paid with another card and they took our telephone number in case it turns up. I need to phone the bank now in case it's been stolen (there was a large group of people around our table whilst I was performing my stand up, sit down routine) I need to put a stop on the card.

We return to the car totally perplexed. Where has it gone? Was it really stolen? Never mind. Too late now, must call the bank.

I eventually got to talk to a human being after engaging in a monosyllabic conversation with a couple of computers and was given the opportunity to discuss my plight.

Bank: "What have you lost sir?"
"My bank card and my sanity. It's disappearance only happened 5 mins ago but I/we can't find it anywhere."
"Never mind sir. I've put a stop against the card and issued a request for you to receive a new one."

So, completely flat we continue on home, safe in the knowledge my bank funds are safe. But I kept wondering where on this planet could it have disapperared to.

Marianne: "It's not under your collar is it?"
"Don't laugh at me but I've just felt around my collar and it's not there!"

I really did actually look and I can't believe I even entertained the concept that it might be locked under my collar. That lady knows me too well!

Marianne: "How about up your sleeve?"
"Oh yeah. There it is. Well I never. How did it get there?"
"I saw you fiddling with it but didn't fully see you perform your conjuring trick. Because we were chatting I never gave too much consideration to what you were actually doing."
"Do you know, I vaguely recollect placing it up my sleeve thinking I could easily forget I'm doing this. I was so engrossed in our conversation I completely forgot all about it. Do you know what Marie.....? It's all coming back to me now. Yes, I did put it up my sleeve. Oh dear, what am I like?"

We laughed and we laughed. Then we laughed some more. Did I mention we laughed?

What a day!

Razmabaz goes Green

And he's hoping that there will happen to be more red!




When we moved to this lovely house we inherited a green house. Never had one of these before and, to be honest, had no great interest in gardening. That may have been due, in part, to all previous gardening projects taking "Capability Brown" sized operations. Quite a daunting task to say the least!

Well, that was before a particular lady came on the scene who seems to be able to inspire and encourage without you being fully aware of what's going on. (Just for the record, how many of you are now knitting, spinning, batting [there has to be a proper term for this], dyeing, sewing, crocheting or even weaving when you didn't think you ever would?) This is how I found myself buying seeds and a bag of compost.

That was back in late March (I now know I should've started sooner). Armed with all the paraphenalia of an ardent horticulturalist I proceeded to the inner sanctum of the mighty greenhouse. Actually, it's only 8' x 6' but it seems huge when you don't know what you're doing! I placed out all my seed trays and set about planting the tiniest of seeds (excluding beans - they're so big it seems like cheating!). How much is left to chance and nature is amazing. It never ceases to amaze me how it all happens. (Eternal thanks to Suttons Seeds ;-) )

Things eventually happened, and all at different rates. Some shot up in no time, others decided to bury themselves in the general fug of laziness that seems to be known as "germination". Some never made it all.... investigation is called for here. Although, if the little blighters didn't want to show their faces then that's fine by me! We didn't want any Busy Lizzies anyway. I've since found they are notoriously difficult to cultivate from seed.

Reality check. I was driving to work about 3 weeks later and watched Spring 'take hold' of the countryside. All this germination with no human intervention - I wasn't so clever after all!



So, successes? I can report tomatoes are rampant. Petunias (they really are the tiniest of seeds) are making a bid to take over the world. Coryopsis are very pretty. Tagetes have the smelliest leaves (nice pong) going. Beetroot take longer than Mr. Sutton says - but who cares. (Incidentally, did you know you can take the beetroot stem and leaves, cook to eat as spinach?) Chillis grow like mad once the flower is pollinated. Runner beans seem to be incredibly popular and go on producing fruit like there's no tomorrow. Radishes were ok but neither of us like them that much :-( Strawberries were delicious. Working up on how to take the runners and grow even more. Abutilon is a tricky plant that really doesn't like the direct sunlight.







Were there any failures? Yes - but not total. Marianne gave me some seeds and said "You can grow me some natural dyes." Coryopsis was the only one that worked but I think we'd need an acre of them to turn a fleece yellow. Safflower and indigo only just about made it but the safflowers got savaged by an errant dog! Don't ask. - I just hope it turned orange :-p

So, all in all, I have to report as resounding success....... all I need now is the stuff that is supposed to be red to change from that green colour which kids hate. There is an irony here that I'm not about to divulge!

Picnic in the Park ~ A Musical Interlude

(All photos courtesy of Marianne Cant)

Well, thanks to my beautiful wife I'm reminded I've neglected this blog for far too long - it needs an update.

In a previous, previous life and a long time ago, I played the trumpet. I like to think I was quite good but I was young, youthful and energetic and full of things around me. Really, I took my music very seriously until life happened. I played in the Isle of Wight Symphony Orchestra, Isle of Youth Orhestra, Bembridge Young Community Band and a few other things. Life was full of music!

As I said, then 'life' happened. 37 years later I remarry and I promised to my (then) wife to be, Marianne, I will play my trumpet for her at our wedding. She had never, ever heard me play and I thought it was about time she did!

A long story shortened - 6 weeks before the wedding I reckoned I ought to at least practice something. I did ~ can you believe how rusty a musician gets after a 37 year lay-off?

Anyway, it happened. Marianne was swept off her feet in a romantic trumpet blast - "The way you look tonight" is an amazing piece to woo your wife!

Move on a year and I'm having a terrible job stifling the urge to play again with a group of musicians and let's face it - a trumpet's ok but, solo all the time is a bit much for any audience no matter how much they tell you they love you!

A colleague at work told me about a Music School in Huntingdon HuMSA and that I should look them up. I did and I was amazed at what was on offer. Saturday I get the opportunity to play in a number of groups - from a Brass Ensemble to a Swing (Big) Band. The big draw back is I'm away from home for quite a lot of Saturday mornings, they follow the school term times so there are some holidays. Thank you Honey, I know how difficult it is for you. Wish they did knitting groups there on Saturday mornings ;^) How about learning the harp, it's only strumming vertical skeins?

It seems Brass players are in short supply - so, within a few weeks (3 to be precise) I was asked to play in a concert. Nerve wracking to say the least, but it is enjoyable. Well, it was for me - at least, I don't know what we sound like. I do actually and Marianne recorded on her phone a couple of pieces we played at a summer concert in Godmanchester - Picnic in the Park. The quality is not that good as it was an unbalanced PA system around she was surrounded by partying kids! It gives some idea of what we sound like. It's a shame Marianne couldn't get some of our more melodic pieces but maybe we'll find a better way of recording them.

Extracts from "Have you met Miss Jones?" sung by our new male vocalist Chris Cook and "Woodchoppers Ball".

Me- second from the right, Lewis on the right with Tony, to my left (can you believe he is 82?)

Must tell you this:

At my first concert with him another young lad was sat next to Tony, the lad asked who he was waving to in the audience, he replied, "My father!". I really did laugh